INTERNAL CONFLICT

Advanced Writing:
INTERNAL CONFLICT

Note: this is how the professional authors do it. That doesn't mean YOU have to. As with all advice, take what you can use and throw out the rest.

The scene…
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His lips drifted across hers in a warm caress. His hand pressed at waist, the heat of his palm warming her flesh through her corset underlying the deep blood silk gown. His fingers drifted upward, toward her breast.

Desire pulsed within her core, in time with her heart. She wanted to let him tear the red silk from her body, and bury himself in her flesh, but set her palm over his to stop him just below her breast. He was a vampire and she, a mere mortal. The fear in her soul told her to stop, and yet her body begged for his mouth on her flesh. I am overcome, overcome by a desire I know only he can satisfy... He fired her blood more than any other man.

She turned away from his kiss. "Please, I can't."

His gaze narrowed, then he smiled. "Why? Why deny your desire?"

She stepped from his embrace and clasped her hands before her. "Forgive me, but I want to live."

He moved closer, to stand but a breath away. "Are you quite sure?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yes, I know, it's a bit over the top. Anyway… What we have here is a potentially hot scene brewing with a nice little Internal Conflict, but everything seems a little muddied. What's wrong?

This scene's Internal Conflict is Out of Chronological Sequence!

"What the heck does that mean?"
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Chronological sequence is the order in which things actually happen.

1. Something the size of a fist hits your head.
2. The impact knocks you flat on the ground.
3. You sit up from the ground and shake you head wondering what the heck just happened.
4. PAIN!
5. Wincing, you look around for the cause and find a baseball.
6. Guessing what happened, you go looking for the culprits.

When stories are NOT written in the correct order that events actually happen, the reader gets confused. Make a story too difficult to read and they'll go read someone else.


The Chronological Order of INTERNAL CONFLICT!

1) SHOW the Conflict.
2) Tell WHAT is in Conflict.
3) Tell WHY it's in Conflict.
4) Resolve the Conflict.

1) Show them that there is a Conflict.
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Show them, through the ACTIONS & Dialogue of your characters, that there is a conflict happening. This is pure showing – all action.

2) Tell them WHAT is in Conflict.
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This is a statement, TELLING the reader, through internal narration or dialogue, exactly what is battling with what, within the character. Want verses want. Is it their heart verses their body? Their good sense verses their desire? Their career verses their heart's desire? Love for one verses lust for the other?

3) Tell them WHY it's in conflict – what is at stake?
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This is another statement, internally or through dialogue, telling the reader exactly what is at stake. Pile on the reasons, both pro and con. "I can't do this, because…but I want to, because…"

To make the most tension, state the Con first and then the Pro.

4) Resolve the Conflict
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Make an Internal decision, and then have the character ACT on that decision.


Scene OVERHAUL!
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When in doubt of ANY scene – pull it apart, sentence by sentence:

HIS initiating Actions:
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• His lips drifted across hers in a warm caress.
• His hand pressed at waist, the heat of his palm warming her flesh through her corset underlying the deep blood silk gown.
• His fingers drifted upward, toward her breast.

HER Reactions:
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• Desire pulsed within her core, in time with her heart.
• She wanted to let him tear the red silk from her body, and bury himself in her flesh, but set her palm over his to stop him just below her breast.
• He was a vampire and she, a mere mortal.
• The fear in her soul told her to stop, and yet her body begged for his mouth on her flesh.
• I am overcome, overcome by a desire I know only he can satisfy...
• He fired her blood more than any other man.
• She turned away from his kiss. "Please, I can't."

His following Action:
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• His gaze narrowed, then he smiled.
• "Why? Why deny your desire?"

Her following Reaction:
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• She stepped from his embrace and clasped her hands before her.
• "Forgive me, but I want to live."

His Initiating Action:
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• He moved closer, to stand but a breath away.
• "Are you quite sure?"


Actual order of events:
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1) He kissed her.
2) She reacted, and wanted more.
3) She had reasons to resist. (Internal CONFLICT!)
4) She resisted.
5) He sought to reestablish contact.
6) She resisted.
7) Closing


1) He kissed her.
(The sentences that belong to this event
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• He kissed her.
• His lips drifted across hers in a warm caress.
• His hand pressed at waist, the heat of his palm warming her flesh through her corset underlying the deep blood silk gown.
• His fingers drifted upward, toward her breast.

In proper Sequence:
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His lips drifted across hers in a warm caress. His hand pressed at waist, the heat of his palm warming her flesh through her corset underlying the deep blood silk gown. His fingers drifted upward, toward her breast.


2) She reacted, and wanted more.
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• Desire pulsed within her core, in time with her heart.
• I am overcome, overcome by a desire I know only he can satisfy...
• He fired her blood more than any other man.

In proper Sequence:
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Desire pulsed within her core, in time with her heart. He fired her blood more than any other man. I am overcome, overcome by a desire I know only he can satisfy...


3) She had reasons to resist ~ CONFLICT!
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• She wanted to let him tear the red silk from her body, and bury himself in her flesh, but set her palm over his to stop him just below her breast.
• He was a vampire and she, a mere mortal.
• The fear in her soul told her to stop, and yet her body begged for his mouth on her flesh.

1) SHOW the Conflict.
2) Tell WHAT is in Conflict.
3) Tell WHY it's in Conflict.
4) Resolve the Conflict.

1) SHOW the Conflict.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She wanted to let him tear the red silk from her body, and bury himself in her flesh, but set her palm over his to stop him just below her breast.

2) Tell WHAT is in Conflict?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Her body begged for his mouth on her flesh, and yet, the fear in her soul told her to stop.

3) Tell WHY it's in conflict. What is at stake?
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He was a vampire and she, a mere mortal.

4) Resolve the conflict.
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(Oh, no! There's nothing to put here! So, add something, right here to state her decision.)

Yes, she wanted him, but death was simply to high a price to pay for his embrace.

In proper Sequence:
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Her body begged for his mouth on her flesh, and yet, the fear in her soul told her to stop. She wanted to let him tear the red silk from her body, and bury himself in her flesh, but set her palm over his to stop him just below her breast. He was a vampire and she, a mere mortal. Yes, she wanted him, but death was simply to high a price to pay.

4) She resisted.
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She turned away from his kiss. "Please, no."

5) He sought to reestablish contact.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
His gaze narrowed, then he smiled. "Why? Why deny your desire?"

6) She resisted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She stepped from his embrace and clasped her hands before her. "Forgive me, but I want to live."

7) Closing.
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He moved closer, to stand but a breath away. "Are you quite sure?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don't forget! -- No matter what, both Internalization and Dialogue happens AFTER Physical Reactions. ACTION always precedes COMMENT. The body reacts faster than thoughts or comments. Ask any martial artist.
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ADJUSTED into Proper Sequence:
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His lips drifted across hers in a warm caress. His hand pressed at waist, the heat of his palm warming her flesh through her corset underlying the deep blood silk gown. His fingers drifted upward, toward her breast.

Desire pulsed within her core, in time with her heart. He fired her blood more than any other man. I am overcome, overcome by a desire I know only he can satisfy... Her body begged for his mouth on her flesh, and yet, the fear in her soul told her to stop. She wanted to let him tear the red silk from her body, and bury himself in her flesh, but set her palm over his to stop him just below her breast. He was a vampire and she, a mere mortal. Yes, she wanted him, but death was simply to high a price to pay. She turned away from his kiss. "Please, no."

His gaze narrowed, then he smiled. "Why? Why deny your desire?"

She stepped from his embrace and clasped her hands before her. "Forgive me, but I want to live."

He moved closer, to stand but a breath away. "Are you quite sure?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In Conclusion:
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Violating chronological order is a Very Bad idea, even in something as simple as an argument.

If the actions are out of order, the reader's Mental Movie STOPS because you just confused your reader. This means that the reader has to Re-Read that sequence until they can figure out what the heck just happened in order to get their mental movie playing again.

Making the story hard for the reader to PICTURE -- is a VERY Bad Idea. Anytime the reader has to STOP to rearrange the words to FIT their mental movie, you've made a break. Breaks are BAD – very, very bad! A break creates a moment where the reader can STOP READING your story, and start reading something else -- and possibly never look at you again.

Enjoy!