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Evil 'As'

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WHY is "As" so Evil?
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"As" is one of the most common mistakes in fiction writing--and the most difficult bad habit to lose--BECAUSE it works with the way we speak --> Equation form.

Equation Form:
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Character + Character = Action/Impact > (which is greater than) Setting.

Example:
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--> Jack + Betty = Laughed > (which is more important than) they ate.

Jack and Betty laughed as they ate.
~~~~~~~~~~~

This is not only how we Speak, it's how reports and all other non-fiction are supposed to be written, so it's how we are taught to write in School.

However, this is NOT how STORIES are written. Stories are written in Domino Effect form:
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1 and 2 caused 3 and 4 caused 5 and 6 caused 7 and 8.

This happened, which triggered this, which caused this, which resulted in this...

Example:
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--> Jack and Betty happened, which made them eat, which caused them to laugh.

Jack and Betty ate and laughed.
~~~~~~~~~~~

It's a simple case of Writing what we're used to Hearing. However it's also one of the ways that editors use to judge the skill of a writer.

In other words...
-- Equation Form Writing = AMATEUR

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For more information on The Evil "As" and why it's so bad, go Here: Basic Sentence Structure for FICTION. Read that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Special thank you to !Cenakuu for her Shiny Stamp Template.
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Comments97
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Samael391's avatar
Ok, so I've got a question. I've been strolling through the comments and no one else has brought this up, but as I've gone through my book altering things to remove the 'as' ('as's', 'asi'?) I've noted I use them to indicat things that happen at the same time.

I don't assume this is correct, but I'm not finding a good way to fix it.

I was also wondering about 'as if'. For example; Sitting down, the boy began to pack his stuff as if class had just ended.