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Evil "As" by OokamiKasumi Evil "As" by OokamiKasumi
WHY is "As" so Evil?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"As" is one of the most common mistakes in fiction writing--and the most difficult bad habit to lose--BECAUSE it works with the way we speak --> Equation form.

Equation Form:
~~~~~~~~~~~
Character + Character = Action/Impact > (which is greater than) Setting.

Example:
~~~~~~~~~~~
--> Jack + Betty = Laughed > (which is more important than) they ate.

Jack and Betty laughed as they ate.
~~~~~~~~~~~

This is not only how we Speak, it's how reports and all other non-fiction are supposed to be written, so it's how we are taught to write in School.

However, this is NOT how STORIES are written. Stories are written in Domino Effect form:
~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 and 2 caused 3 and 4 caused 5 and 6 caused 7 and 8.

This happened, which triggered this, which caused this, which resulted in this...

Example:
~~~~~~~~~~~
--> Jack and Betty happened, which made them eat, which caused them to laugh.

Jack and Betty ate and laughed.
~~~~~~~~~~~

It's a simple case of Writing what we're used to Hearing. However it's also one of the ways that editors use to judge the skill of a writer.

In other words...
-- Equation Form Writing = AMATEUR

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For more information on The Evil "As" and why it's so bad, go Here: Basic Sentence Structure for FICTION. Read that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Special thank you to !Cenakuu for her Shiny Stamp Template.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconpepper131361:
pepper131361 Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
are you an english teacher
Reply
:iconookamikasumi:
OokamiKasumi Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Professional Writer
Nope, I'm a Fiction teacher. :)
Reply
:icon1st-hashirama-senju:
1st-Hashirama-Senju Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2013

What you said makes so much sense. The word “As” can mess up sentence order in action.

 

I am guilty of using it that way, will not do it in action scenes since it would mess it up.

 

Can you use the word “As” in dialogue, like when a character is telling about something, like telling the main character about what happened when he or she was away?

Reply
:iconookamikasumi:
OokamiKasumi Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Professional Writer
We're all guilty of using 'As' that way in the beginning because that's how we use it in conversation.

Can you use the word “As” in dialogue...?
Absolutely! You can use anything at all in dialogue because people do Not speak with perfect grammar -- unless they're Teachers.
Reply
:iconkayanne21:
kayanne21 Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is some genuinely good advice. Thank you.
Reply
:iconookamikasumi:
OokamiKasumi Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2013  Professional Writer
Well, I hate to give Bad advice, but that doesn't seem to be stopping anyone else...

I'm glad you like it!
Reply
:iconkayanne21:
kayanne21 Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It stopped me. :)
Reply
:iconookamikasumi:
OokamiKasumi Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2013  Professional Writer
LOL!
Reply
:iconscootie-chan:
Scootie-chan Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I must use this. ^^
This will be great for my editing. ^__^
Thank you~<3
Reply
:iconookamikasumi:
OokamiKasumi Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012  Professional Writer
"As" used to be a major problem for me too. Then I got a cruel, but helpful editor.
Reply
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